Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?

Farmer Ted

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

H. L. Mencken

I would remind you that extremism in defense of liberty is no vice. And let me also remind you that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Barry Goldwater

Controversy equalizes fools and wise men in the same way, — and the fools know it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Among the natural rights of the colonists are these: First a right to life, secondly to liberty, and thirdly to property; together with the right to defend them in the best manner they can.

Samuel Adams

Man is a reasoning rather than reasonable animal.

Alexander Hamilton

Philosophers have never hesitated to affirm a fanciful world, provided it contradicted this world, and furnished them with a weapon wherewith they could calumniate this world.

Friedrich Nietzsche

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

H. L. Mencken

It is a very great mistake to imagine that the object of loyalty is the authority and interest of one individual man, however dignified by the applause or enriched by the success of popular actions.

Samuel Adams

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

P. J. O’Rourke

Any man who judges by the group is a peawit.

Michael Shaara (Buster Kilrain)

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell

It’s one thing to burn down the shithouse; it’s another to install plumbing.

P. J. O’Rourke

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.

George Orwell

A Communist is like a crocodile; when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up.

Winston Churchill

You can argue with me, but you can’t argue with figures.

Foghorn Leghorn

Capitalism and Communism stand at opposite poles. Their essential difference is this: the Communist, seeing the rich man and his fine home, says, “No man should have so much.” The Capitalist, seeing the same thing, says “All men should have as much.”

Phelps Adams

One does not make a dictatorship to safeguard a revolution; one makes a revolution in order to establish a dictatorship.

George Orwell

A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.

Thomas Jefferson

The muzzle end of a .45 pretty much says “go away” in every language.

Clint Smith

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

John Adams

Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil.

Doug Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism…. The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities.

Theodore Roosevelt

In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics.' All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia.

George Orwell

Men, at some times, are masters of their fates.

The fault, Dear Brutus, is not in our stars

But in our selves, that we are underlings.

William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

A desire to adore a head of state is a grim transgression against republicanism.

P. J. O’Rourke

Arms in the hands of citizens may be used at individual discretion... in private self-defense.

John Adams

If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, — go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!

Samuel Adams

The three branches of government number considerably more than three and are not, in any sense, “branches” since that that would imply that there is something they are all attached to besides self-aggrandizement and our pocketbooks.

P. J. O’Rourke

Property is surely a right of mankind as real as liberty.

John Adams

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.

George Orwell

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

P. J. O’Rourke

Character is destiny.

Heraclitus

The arms are fair
When the intent of bearing them is just.
William Shakespeare, Henry IV

The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.

Ronald Reagan

There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.

John Adams

You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on Earth, or we will sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness.

Ronald Reagan

I've never been able to understand why a Republican contributor is a 'fat cat' and a Democratic contributor of the same amount of money is a ‘public-spirited philanthropist’.

Ronald Reagan

Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.

George Orwell

This is the issue of this election: whether we believe in our capacity for self-government or whether we abandon the American Revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capitol can plan our lives for us better than we can plan them ourselves.

Ronald Reagan

If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.

Samuel Adams

The desire for self-preservation that compelled people to evolve the means for the exchange of information also compels them to regard the giving of false information as profoundly reprehensible.

S. I. Hayakawa

A 100 years ago when foreign aid was unthought of we were a respected and admired nation. After a century of philanthropy everyone hates our guts.

P.J. O'Rourke

It is the highest impertinence and presumption, therefore, in kings and ministers, to pretend to watch over the economy of private people, and to restrain their expence, either by sumptuary laws, or by prohibiting the importation of foreign luxuries. They are themselves always, and without any exception, the greatest spendthrifts in the society. Let them look well after their own expence, and they may safely trust private people with theirs. If their own extravagance does not ruin the state, that of their subjects never will.

Adam Smith

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.

G. K. Chesterton

You gotta love livin' baby because dyin' is a pain in the ass.

Francis Albert Sinatra

All things are subject to interpretation; whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Advocating the expansion of the powers of the state is treason to mankind, goddamnit!

P. J. O'Rourke